This is an actual account by a worker at a technical support and service center. One particular customer had an old console-type machine with a print head that would ride back and forth on a spiral shaft. They also had a big bushy cat who liked to sit on the edge of the printer [...]
While waiting for a bus, the blind man’s dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind man’s legs.
A passerby commented to the blind man, “What! That dog just went to the bathroom all over your legs, and you are petting him?! Are you crazy?”
To which the blind man replied, “Madam, I am [...]
Psychiatrist: What’s your problem?
Patient: I think I’m a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
This list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your dog when he does not behave well. The below variations and choices will help you pick an assignment.A. Fill in the blanks
1. [xxx] is not food.
Spiders; bandaids; ivy and airplane plants; Xmas ornaments; the carved jack-o-lantern; plants from the aquarium; cat litter box [...]
A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door.
“An’ wot’s this then?” he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher’s shins.
“You dumb dog.” As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices a note [...]
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.
“I was in that new restaurant across the street,” said one. “It’s so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere–it’s so sanitary that the whole place [...]
This list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your human when he does not behave well. The below variations and choices will help you pick an assignment for him/her.
1. I will not bathe my master after he bathes himself in the mud puddle.
2. I will not drag my master from the interesting sniffing spots.
3. [...]
The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with.
So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his [...]
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