Daily Updated JokesSubscribe to UpdatesFollow Me on Twitter
Skip to content

Category Archives: Bar Jokes

« Older posts

Evils of Liquor

March 4, 2010 – 13:40

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his fifth grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
“Now, class. Observe the worms closely,” said the professor as he put the first worm into the water. The worm [...]

By Joker | Tagged liquor, little johnny, professor, whiskey, worms | Comments (0)

Finding The Car

February 22, 2010 – 10:31

A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars.
The manager comes out ofthe bar and stops the guy.
‘What the heck are you doing ?’ he asks the drunk.
‘I’m looking for my car, and I can’t find it.’ he replies.
‘So how does feeling the [...]

By Joker | Tagged bar, car, drunk | Comments Off

Stages of Drunkeness

February 10, 2010 – 09:30

0 – Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet.
1 – Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.
2 – Lager warming up head. Pretzles are ordered. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.
3 – Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and numbers.
4 – Barmaid [...]

By Joker | Tagged bar, drunk, stages | Comments Off

State Of The Art Watch

January 29, 2010 – 07:25

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
“No,” he replies, “I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just [...]

By Joker | Tagged date, panties, watch | Comments Off

Spent Paycheck

January 19, 2010 – 09:23

Wife: Okay, today’s Friday. Where’s your pay envelope?
Man: I already spent all my pay. I bought something for the house.
Wife: What? What could you buy for the house that cost $480?
Man: Eight rounds of drinks.

By Joker | Tagged drinks, man, pay, wife | Comments Off

Sotally Tober

January 7, 2010 – 10:23

Starkle starkle little twink
who the hell you are I think
I’m not under what you call
the alcofluence of incohol
I’m just a little slort of sheep
I’m not drunk like tinkle peep
I don’t know who is me yet
but the drunker I stand here
the longer I get
Just give me one more drink
to fill me cup
‘cuz I got all day [...]

By Joker | Tagged bar, drunk | Comments Off

Signs That You are Too Drunk

December 28, 2009 – 06:00

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Your job is interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream.
Your career won’t progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
You sincerely believe alchohol [...]

By Joker | Tagged too drunk | Comments Off

Presents for the Wife

December 16, 2009 – 06:00

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks.
After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, “You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn’t like the diamond ring, then at [...]

By Joker | Tagged biker, doctor, lawyer, men, wife | Comments Off

Speech Impediment

December 4, 2009 – 06:00

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other:
“If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?”
“Yeah, sure thing,” replied his friend, “fire away.”
“Well,” said the first guy, “why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so [...]

By Joker | Tagged friends, speech impediment, wife | Comments Off

I Thought You Were My Wife

November 24, 2009 – 06:00

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up
her skirt and began fondling her.
She jumped up and slapped him silly.
He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look [...]

By Joker | Tagged bar, drunk, woman | Comments Off
« Older posts

  • Daily Joke Updates Sent To Your Email
    Enter Your Name and Email Address Below.
    Name:
    Email:

    Your Privacy is Respected.
    Your Info Will Never Be
    Shared or Sold to Anyone.

    • How To Be Funny
    • The Best Man Joke Book!
    • Laughter Yoga Bookstore
    • FREE 40-Page Joke Book With Bonus Offer
  • Categories
    • Animal Jokes
    • Bar Jokes
    • Blonde Jokes
    • Books
    • Bumper Stickers
    • Computer Jokes
    • Ethnic Jokes
    • Funny Pictures
    • Funny Things
    • Gender Jokes
    • Holiday Jokes
    • Insults Jokes
    • Lawyer Jokes
    • Medical Jokes
    • One Liner Jokes
    • Politics Jokes
    • Redneck Jokes
    • Religious Jokes
    • Videos
    • Website News
    • Yo Mamma Jokes
  • Recent Comments
    • Chris @ Rizzo Tees on Funny Toilet Paper
    • Bill Bartmann on Nuns discussing drinks
    • LnddMiles on Alcohol Billboards
    • MindyDDD on A collection of insults 12
    • Sarah on Error codes in Windows
  • Really Cool Sites
    • Fat Burning System
    • Striper Fishing Blog
    • Tucson Golf Info
    • We Aren't Chefs
We Arent Chefs Cooking Blog
Even More Laughs | Return Home

  • bumper sticker

  • Evils of Liquor

  • Why are you yelling that?

  • Cat technical support problems

  • Scary Bugs

  • Does it hurt when you do this?

  • What is the oldest profession?

  • The Ducks in Heaven

  • Santa Hates Your Kid

  • He Said She Said

Daily Joke Updates Sent To Your Email

Enter your first name and primary e-mail address to receive notifications when there are new jokes:

First Name:

Primary Email Address:

(I hate spam, too! I will never share your email address with anyone. Period. Privacy Policy



Copyright © DailyJokeBlog.com - All Rights Reserved - Privacy Policy | Visual Sitemap | Contact Us