Category Archives: Bar Jokes

5 Stages of Being Drunk

June 22, 2010 – 10:18

Stage 1 – SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes [...]

By Joker | Tagged drunk, stages | Comments (0)

$1000 Competition

June 10, 2010 – 08:17

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the [...]

By Joker | Tagged bartender, bet, irs, lemon | Comments Off

Alcoholic Side Effects

June 1, 2010 – 01:09

The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as: WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an a-hole. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over [...]

By Joker | Tagged alcohol, consumption, side effects | Comments Off

All You Can Drink

May 20, 2010 – 07:39

A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another. He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes and orders yet another one. This goes on for at least an hour and a [...]

By Joker | Tagged bar, bartender, beer, wife | Comments Off

A Round For The House

May 11, 2010 – 07:36

A drunk walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.” So, the bartender does just that, and hands the man the bill. The drunk says, “I haven’t got it.” The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him [...]

By Joker | Tagged bar, bartender, drunk | Comments Off

What You Got

April 29, 2010 – 09:30

A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be buddy?” The man says, “Set me up with five whiskey shots, and make ‘em doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and [...]

By Joker | Tagged bar, bartender, man, whiskey | Comments Off

Beer Festival

April 19, 2010 – 08:45

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says “Hey Sen~or, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from [...]

By Joker | Tagged beer, budweiser, coke, coors, corona, great britain, guinness, london | Comments Off

Deaf Men in a Bar

April 7, 2010 – 08:44

A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them. When the bartender returned to him, the man asked how he had learned to use sign language. The bartender explained that these were regular customers [...]

By Joker | Tagged bar, bartender, sign language | Comments Off

Best Reasons to Allow Drinking on the Job

March 26, 2010 – 11:00

1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps [...]

By Joker | Tagged drink, job | Comments Off

Deadbeat in a Bar

March 16, 2010 – 07:41

A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink, and he said “No thanks, I don’t drink, I tried it once but I didn`t like it!” So the bartender said, “Well would you like a cigarette,” but the [...]

By Joker | Tagged bar, bartender, cigarette, son | Comments Off

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Category Archives: Bar Jokes

5 Stages of Being Drunk

$1000 Competition

Alcoholic Side Effects

All You Can Drink

A Round For The House

What You Got

Beer Festival

Deaf Men in a Bar

Best Reasons to Allow Drinking on the Job

Deadbeat in a Bar

Cow on train tracks

You might be a redneck if 44

Seeing a child in need

Deep Thoughts 04

Flags tell us information about our taxes

Put me into a fighting mood

Were you ever arrested?

Stuff you should never say to a cop

The FAA Inspection

Try to settle the dispute

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