Category Archives: Bar Jokes

Evils of Liquor

March 4, 2010 – 13:40

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his fifth grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. “Now, class. Observe the worms closely,” said the professor as he put the first worm into the water. The [...]

By Joker | Tagged liquor, little johnny, professor, whiskey, worms | Comments Off

Finding The Car

February 22, 2010 – 10:31

A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out ofthe bar and stops the guy. ‘What the heck are you doing ?’ he asks the drunk. ‘I’m looking for my car, and I can’t find it.’ he replies. ‘So [...]

By Joker | Tagged bar, car, drunk | Comments Off

Stages of Drunkeness

February 10, 2010 – 09:30

0 – Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet. 1 – Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being. 2 – Lager warming up head. Pretzles are ordered. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse. 3 – Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and [...]

By Joker | Tagged bar, drunk, stages | Comments Off

State Of The Art Watch

January 29, 2010 – 07:25

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No,” he replies, “I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I [...]

By Joker | Tagged date, panties, watch | Comments Off

Spent Paycheck

January 19, 2010 – 09:23

Wife: Okay, today’s Friday. Where’s your pay envelope? Man: I already spent all my pay. I bought something for the house. Wife: What? What could you buy for the house that cost $480? Man: Eight rounds of drinks.

By Joker | Tagged drinks, man, pay, wife | Comments Off

Sotally Tober

January 7, 2010 – 10:23

Starkle starkle little twink who the hell you are I think I’m not under what you call the alcofluence of incohol I’m just a little slort of sheep I’m not drunk like tinkle peep I don’t know who is me yet but the drunker I stand here the longer I get Just give me one [...]

By Joker | Tagged bar, drunk | Comments Off

Signs That You are Too Drunk

December 28, 2009 – 06:00

You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Your job is interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream. Your career won’t progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the [...]

By Joker | Tagged too drunk | Comments Off

Presents for the Wife

December 16, 2009 – 06:00

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, “You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn’t like the diamond ring, then [...]

By Joker | Tagged biker, doctor, lawyer, men, wife | Comments Off

Speech Impediment

December 4, 2009 – 06:00

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: “If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?” “Yeah, sure thing,” replied his friend, “fire away.” “Well,” said the first guy, “why do you think all the guys around here find [...]

By Joker | Tagged friends, speech impediment, wife | Comments Off

I Thought You Were My Wife

November 24, 2009 – 06:00

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my [...]

By Joker | Tagged bar, drunk, woman | Comments Off

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Category Archives: Bar Jokes

Evils of Liquor

Finding The Car

Stages of Drunkeness

State Of The Art Watch

Spent Paycheck

Sotally Tober

Signs That You are Too Drunk

Presents for the Wife

Speech Impediment

I Thought You Were My Wife

5 Stages of Being Drunk

stuck!

Cow on train tracks

You might be a redneck if 44

Seeing a child in need

Deep Thoughts 04

Flags tell us information about our taxes

Put me into a fighting mood

Were you ever arrested?

Stuff you should never say to a cop

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