Category Archives: Computer Jokes

Help stories from Tech Support

June 23, 2010 – 09:30

Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is. AST technical support had a called complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. Another [...]

By Joker | Tagged compaq, dell, help, support, tech support | Comments (0)

You have an Internet addiction when . . .

June 11, 2010 – 08:29

You kiss your girlfriend’s home page. A VRML virtual walk through a park is your idea of a good date. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them. All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8…ISDN…cable [...]

By Joker | Tagged addiction, computer, signs | Comments (0)

Fifty ways to be annoying in computer labs

June 2, 2010 – 09:27

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream “Oh my God! They’ve found me!” and bolt. 2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you. 3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor [...]

By Joker | Tagged annoying, computer lab, computers | Comments Off

Top ten signs you bought a bad computer

May 21, 2010 – 07:45

10. Lower corner of screen has the words “Etch-a-sketch” on it. 9. It’s celebrity spokesman is that “Hey Vern!” guy. 8. In order to start it, you need some jumper cables and a friend’s car. 7. It’s slogan is “Pentium: redefining mathematics”. 6. The “quick reference” manual is 120 pages long. 5. Whenever you turn [...]

By Joker | Tagged computer, top 10 | Comments Off

If Dr. Seuss was a technical writer

May 11, 2010 – 07:43

What if Dr. Seuss was a technical writer? Here are several examples of what he may write to help you resolve your computer problems. If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy [...]

By Joker | Tagged dr. seuss, writer | Comments Off

Solution to the Y2K problem

April 20, 2010 – 08:01

The government’s system administration team, working with computer manufacturers and experts in the computer industry, has found a lower cost alternative to address the Y2K (Year 2000) issue: The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by December 31, 1999. In exchange for taking every computer, an Etch-A-Sketch will be issued to all [...]

By Joker | Tagged computer industry, etch-a-sketch, Y2K | Comments Off

Operating systems as beers

April 8, 2010 – 08:31

DOS Beer — Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. [...]

By Joker | Tagged beer, computers | Comments Off

Real software engineers

March 29, 2010 – 08:29

Real software engineers eat quiche. Real software engineers don’t read dumps. They never generate them, and on the rare occasions that they come across them, they are vaguely amused. Real software engineers don’t comment their code. The identifiers are so mnemonic they don’t have to. Real software engineers don’t write applications programs, they implement algorithms. [...]

By Joker | Tagged software engineers | Comments Off

Airplanes running operating systems

March 17, 2010 – 12:18

Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different operating systems running them. DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it coast till it skids, then jumps off, pushes, jumps back on, etc. DOS with QEMM: Same as DOS, but with more leg room for pushing. [...]

By Joker | Tagged airplanes, operating systems | Comments Off

Microsoft buys church

March 5, 2010 – 14:15

MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church VATICAN CITY (AP) — In a joint press conference in St. Peter’s Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. If the deal goes through, [...]

By Joker | Tagged church, microsoft | Comments Off

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Category Archives: Computer Jokes

Help stories from Tech Support

You have an Internet addiction when . . .

Fifty ways to be annoying in computer labs

Top ten signs you bought a bad computer

If Dr. Seuss was a technical writer

Solution to the Y2K problem

Operating systems as beers

Real software engineers

Airplanes running operating systems

Microsoft buys church

Cow on train tracks

You might be a redneck if 44

Seeing a child in need

Deep Thoughts 04

Flags tell us information about our taxes

Put me into a fighting mood

Were you ever arrested?

Stuff you should never say to a cop

The FAA Inspection

Try to settle the dispute

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