Category Archives: Computer Jokes

Airplanes running operating systems

March 17, 2010 – 12:18

Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different operating systems running them. DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it coast till it skids, then jumps off, pushes, jumps back on, etc. DOS with QEMM: Same as DOS, but with more leg room for pushing. [...]

By Joker | Tagged airplanes, operating systems | Comments Off

Microsoft buys church

March 5, 2010 – 14:15

MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church VATICAN CITY (AP) — In a joint press conference in St. Peter’s Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. If the deal goes through, [...]

By Joker | Tagged church, microsoft | Comments Off

Bill Gates can choose his punishment

February 23, 2010 – 09:35

Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, “Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough decision; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every [...]

By Joker | Tagged bill gates, computer, god, heaven, hell | Comments Off

Actual calls to technical support

February 11, 2010 – 10:34

Computer novices may feel like they’re alone these days, but some of the following calls to IBM’s help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway. After a caller gave a technician her PC’s serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, “I [...]

By Joker | Tagged computer, technical support | Comments Off

The computer user’s reboot poem

February 1, 2010 – 08:33

Don’t you wish when life is bad and things just don’t compute, That all we really had to do was stop and hit reboot? Things would all turn out ok, life could be so sweet If we had those special keys Ctrl, Alt, and Delete Your boss is mad, your bills not paid, your wife, [...]

By Joker | Tagged computer poem | Comments Off

Programmer’s drinking song

January 20, 2010 – 08:32

99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, Fix one bug, compile it again, 101 little bugs in the code. 101 little bugs in the code, 101 bugs in the code, Fix one bug, compile it again, 103 little bugs in the code.

By Joker | Tagged computer, song | Comments Off

The top ten signs that someone is using your e-mail account

January 8, 2010 – 10:28

10. “Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon.com backing into our driveway?” 9. One Secret Service agent is sitting on your head while another is slapping cuffs on you. 8. Apparently, your flame war with DonCorleone@mafia.com is about to turn ugly. 7. When you log on, your computer says “You’ve got lawsuits!” 6. You’re suddenly [...]

By Joker | Tagged email, top ten | Comments Off

If companies run Christmas

December 29, 2009 – 11:05

If IBM ran Christmas… They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for their present-processing. Receiving presents would take about 24-36 hours of mainframe processing time. If Microsoft ran Christmas… Each time you bought an ornament, you would have to buy a tree as well. You wouldn’t have to take [...]

By Joker | Tagged christmas, companies, computers | Comments Off

Twas the night before crisis

December 17, 2009 – 09:05

Twas the night before crisis, And all through the house, Not a program was working, Not even a browse. Programmers were wrung out, Too mindless to care, Knowing chances of cutover Hadn’t a prayer. The users were nestled All snug in their beds, While visions of inquiries Danced in their heads. When out in the [...]

By Joker | Tagged computer, crisis | Comments Off

Programming language acronyms

December 7, 2009 – 10:30

ADA: A Dumb Arrangement ADA: A Dumb Acronym ADA: A Dumb Annoyance BASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idiotic Coders BASIC: Badly Assembled, Severely Illogical Code BASIC: Beginner’s Algorithms for Seemingly Infinite Confusion C: Crud C: Confusing COBOL: Completly Outdated, Badly Overused Language COBOL: Completly Overused, Badly Outdated Language COBOL: Cowards Only Buy Outdated Languages COBOL: Cowards [...]

By Joker | Tagged acronyms, computers, programming | Comments Off

Dangerously Funny and Stupid T-Shirts for Fathers Day.	End The Urge To Overeat Late At Night!
Save Now with $75 worth of Coupons!	Let Us Help You Make Your Life Easier!

Category Archives: Computer Jokes

Airplanes running operating systems

Microsoft buys church

Bill Gates can choose his punishment

Actual calls to technical support

The computer user’s reboot poem

Programmer’s drinking song

The top ten signs that someone is using your e-mail account

If companies run Christmas

Twas the night before crisis

Programming language acronyms

I want to appeal a case

Divorce

The Twelve Days of Windows 95

The new Euro language

I’m ignoring Y2K

Question and answer blond jokes

Can I Smell Something

Ten Signs That You’re At A Bad Zoo

tic tacs

Funny Pictures

Name:
Email: