A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, [...]
8. Kid’s letter to north pole comes back stamped, “Dream on, Chester!”
7. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes
6. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling.
5. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is foam packing.
4. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a [...]
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues!
Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition.
Now thats what you call pot luck!
What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday ?
Freeze a jolly good fellow !
What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ?
Santapplause !
Twinkle [...]
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who ?
Wenceslas train home ?
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Snow
Snow who ?
Snow business like show business !
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Wayne
Wayne who ?
Wayne in a manger… !
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Donut
Donut who ?
Donut open till Christmas !
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Oakham
Oakham who ?
Oakham all ye faithfull… !
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Avery
Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas !
Knock Knock
Who’s [...]
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It’s Christmas, Eve !
How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !
What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month ?
The letter “D” !
What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets [...]
What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder!
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What’s an ig?
An eskimo’s home without a loo!
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Where do snowmen go to dance?
Snowballs!
How do snowmen travel around ?
By iceicle !
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce ?
A snowball !
How do [...]
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke ?
This one will sleigh you !
Why is a reindeer like a gossip ?
Because they are both tail bearers !
Why do reindeer wear fur coats ?
Because they would look silly in plastic macs !
How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?
Don’t feed it !
Why did the [...]
On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Windows 95 for my PC
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 3 ports not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows [...]
On the first day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
A Big Bacon Classic with cheese.
On the second day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.
On the third day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.
On the [...]
To The Tune Of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
Oh you better not shout, you better not cry,
You better not pout, I’m tellin’ you why,
Daddy’s home and I think he’s drunk.
He’s walkin’ real slow, he slurs when he speaks,
I don’t even think he’s shaved in two weeks,
Daddy’s home and boy is he drunk,
He spent most [...]
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