Category Archives: Holiday Jokes

The FAA Inspection

June 15, 2010 – 10:48

With the number of airline disasters lately, the FAA now sends an inspector to the North Pole to check out Santa Claus’s sleigh before allowing him to fly on Christmas eve. The inspector arrives and checks the reindeer and they look good, he checks the harness and it looks okay, he checks the sleigh and [...]

By Joker | Tagged airline, disasters, engine failure, FAA Inspection, santa, shotgun | Comments (0)

I want to see something really cheap

June 3, 2010 – 07:47

After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50. “That’s a bit much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. “Thats [...]

By Joker | Tagged cheap, christmas, GIFT, wife | Comments Off

The Police Officer’s Christmas

May 25, 2010 – 07:58

Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the substation, Not a deputy stirred, they were all on vacation. The stockings were hung on the wall with great care, Next to some T-shirts and old underwear. I was working the night shift compiling stats, Answering the phone, and feeding the rat. When all of a sudden [...]

By Joker | Tagged christmas, police, song | Comments Off

The Christmas diet song

May 13, 2010 – 07:56

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there. While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps had just settled down to sugar-borne naps. [...]

By Joker | Tagged christmas, diet, santa, song | Comments Off

Sick of the Holidays

May 4, 2010 – 08:54

Signs You’re Sick of the Holidays 8. You’ve got red and green bags under your eyes 7. You’re serving reindeer pot pie 6. When you hear, “Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin’?,” you scream, “No! I’m not listening!” 5. You climb on your roof and start shooting carolers with your air gun 4. You think [...]

By Joker | Tagged holidays, sick | Comments Off

Without a Christmas bonus

April 22, 2010 – 10:17

Ten signs you’re not getting a christmas bonus 10. Co-workers refer to you as “the ghost of unemployment future” 9. The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial 8. On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips 7. What you call “my new [...]

By Joker | Tagged christmas, christmas bonus | Comments Off

Santa’s Pet Peeves

April 12, 2010 – 07:57

Department Store Santa Peeves 8. Kids who refuse to believe that it’s fruitcake on your breath and not gin. 7. When the last guy to use the beard leaves bits of his lunch in it. 6. Even with the costume, people recognizing you from “Crime Watch” 5. Parents who get all uptight when you offer [...]

By Joker | Tagged pet peeves, santa | Comments Off

Signs You Bought a Lousy Tree

March 31, 2010 – 08:53

8. Two feet tall, forty feet wide 7. Salesman’s opening line: “You’re not a cop, are you?” 6. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers 5. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride. 4. Each branch has “Duraflame” printed on [...]

By Joker | Comments Off

Santa vs. system admins

March 19, 2010 – 10:42

The similarities between Santa and System Admins 1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny. 2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal. 3. Santa seldom answers your mail. 4. When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he’s got, he says, “Elves make it [...]

By Joker | Comments Off

Optimist vs. Pessimist

March 9, 2010 – 07:30

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, [...]

By Joker | Tagged optimist, pessimist, twins | Comments Off

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Category Archives: Holiday Jokes

The FAA Inspection

I want to see something really cheap

The Police Officer’s Christmas

The Christmas diet song

Sick of the Holidays

Without a Christmas bonus

Santa’s Pet Peeves

Signs You Bought a Lousy Tree

Santa vs. system admins

Optimist vs. Pessimist

Put me into a fighting mood

Were you ever arrested?

Stuff you should never say to a cop

The FAA Inspection

Try to settle the dispute

Facts of Life

You have an Internet addiction when . . .

Question and answer blond jokes

$1000 Competition

Buy alligator shoes

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