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Category Archives: Insults Jokes

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How To Please a Woman

March 9, 2010 – 13:24

A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5- story
hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are
without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it
works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor-by-floor, and once you
find what you [...]

By Joker | Tagged men, woman | Comments (0)

The Ducks in Heaven

February 25, 2010 – 09:08

Jake, Greg, and John all die and go to Heaven. When they get to
Heaven’s gates, St. Peter says that Heaven is the best place
ever and that they may stay there for eternity and be very happy
if the just follow the one and only rule: don’t step on a duck.
If you step on a duck, it [...]

By Joker | Tagged duck, heaven, insult jokes | Comments Off

Funny Sayings

February 15, 2010 – 09:07

- Girls are like phones, if you press the wrong button you’ll
get disconnected.
- I’m an angel, honest, the horns are just there to keep the
halo from falling!
- Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me an angel, so what
happend to you?
- It’s better to appear stupid then to open your mouth and
reviel all hope.
- [...]

By Joker | Tagged funny sayings, insults, jokes | Comments Off

Perfect Put Downs

February 3, 2010 – 09:06

Sorry but you seem to mistaking me for someone who is interested
in what you are saying.
Here’s some money (hand it to the jerk) go call somebody who
cares.
I’d sue my parents if I had a face like yours.
God do you need a special licence to be so ugly?
You smell of piss.
Did you style your hair like [...]

By Joker | Tagged insults, jokes, put downs | Comments Off

your face

January 22, 2010 – 09:04

Your face looks like you’ve been using it as a doorstop.
Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo.
If your face had “Welcome” written on it, it would make a perfect doormat.
If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in.
Your face [...]

By Joker | Tagged insults, jokes | Comments Off

When they gave out

January 12, 2010 – 10:03

When they were giving out heads, you thought they said beds, and you said “I’d like something soft”
When they were giving out brains, you thought they said grains, and you said “Make mine oatmeal”
When they were giving out noses, you thought they said roses, and you said “Give me a big red one”
When they were [...]

By Joker | Tagged insults, jokes | Comments Off

Good riddance

December 31, 2009 – 09:30

If I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional.
You don’t have to say anything. You offend me just by being in the area.
I don’t take it personally. Every time you open your mouth you offend someone.
Well, you probably said it without thinking, the way you do most things.
Don’t worry about it. I’ve never [...]

By Joker | Tagged good riddance | Comments Off

You look familiar

December 21, 2009 – 10:20

You look familiar, did I see you in the zoo parade ?
I think you may have seen me at the zoo, I was the one who was feeding you peanuts.
I understand that’s Animal Magic is your favorite show because so many of your relatives are on it.
I know your trying to insult me, but I [...]

By Joker | Tagged funny, look familiar | Comments Off

poor joke – kicking a can

December 9, 2009 – 09:00

You are so poor . . .
When you were kicking a can, your friend came by and asked what you were doing. You said you were moving!

By Joker | Tagged can, poor | Comments Off

inflatable girlfriend

November 27, 2009 – 08:55

A woman who is tired of having a guy hit on her says, “Look … I’m sorry, but I’m just not your type. I’m not inflatable”

By Joker | Tagged guy, inflatable, woman | Comments Off
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