Tag Archives: drunk

5 Stages of Being Drunk

June 22, 2010 – 10:18

Stage 1 – SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes [...]

By Joker | Posted in Bar Jokes | Also tagged stages | Comments (0)

What has caused it?

May 28, 2010 – 08:33

A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began to read. After a [...]

By Joker | Posted in Religious Jokes | Also tagged pope, priest | Comments Off

A Round For The House

May 11, 2010 – 07:36

A drunk walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.” So, the bartender does just that, and hands the man the bill. The drunk says, “I haven’t got it.” The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him [...]

By Joker | Posted in Bar Jokes | Also tagged bar, bartender | Comments Off

When you know you must really be drunk

May 5, 2010 – 08:04

A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket and ordered a double scotch. A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, the man told the bartender he’d had enough. The bartender [...]

By Joker | Posted in Lawyer Jokes | Also tagged bartender, lawyer | Comments Off

Finding The Car

February 22, 2010 – 10:31

A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out ofthe bar and stops the guy. ‘What the heck are you doing ?’ he asks the drunk. ‘I’m looking for my car, and I can’t find it.’ he replies. ‘So [...]

By Joker | Posted in Bar Jokes | Also tagged bar, car | Comments Off

Stages of Drunkeness

February 10, 2010 – 09:30

0 – Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet. 1 – Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being. 2 – Lager warming up head. Pretzles are ordered. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse. 3 – Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and [...]

By Joker | Posted in Bar Jokes | Also tagged bar, stages | Comments Off

Sotally Tober

January 7, 2010 – 10:23

Starkle starkle little twink who the hell you are I think I’m not under what you call the alcofluence of incohol I’m just a little slort of sheep I’m not drunk like tinkle peep I don’t know who is me yet but the drunker I stand here the longer I get Just give me one [...]

By Joker | Posted in Bar Jokes | Also tagged bar | Comments Off

Your father is drunk

November 27, 2009 – 11:05

To The Tune Of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town Oh you better not shout, you better not cry, You better not pout, I’m tellin’ you why, Daddy’s home and I think he’s drunk. He’s walkin’ real slow, he slurs when he speaks, I don’t even think he’s shaved in two weeks, Daddy’s home and [...]

By Joker | Posted in Holiday Jokes | Also tagged father, santa claus | Comments Off

I Thought You Were My Wife

November 24, 2009 – 06:00

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my [...]

By Joker | Posted in Bar Jokes | Also tagged bar, woman | Comments Off

Selling the Wife

November 12, 2009 – 06:00

A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men in the bar asked him what happened. “I did a terrible thing,” sniffed the drunk, “Just a few hours ago I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of Southern Comfort.” “That is awful,” said the other guy, “And now that she [...]

By Joker | Posted in Bar Jokes | Also tagged bar, wife | Comments Off

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Tag Archives: drunk

5 Stages of Being Drunk

What has caused it?

A Round For The House

When you know you must really be drunk

Finding The Car

Stages of Drunkeness

Sotally Tober

Your father is drunk

I Thought You Were My Wife

Selling the Wife

Cow on train tracks

You might be a redneck if 44

Seeing a child in need

Deep Thoughts 04

Flags tell us information about our taxes

Put me into a fighting mood

Were you ever arrested?

Stuff you should never say to a cop

The FAA Inspection

Try to settle the dispute

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